The Words You Say to Yourself

This is a poem I wrote about how it feels to live with learning differences. Modern society views learning differences as deficiencies rather than unique ways of thinking. Cognitive diversity should be celebrated because when empowered, people with learning differences are capable of amazing things. 

Slow math groups,
misdiagnoses,
six words a minute,
needs improvement,
distracting,
dumb.

I never thought words
Had the power to shrink.
Had the ability to force me into thinking
That intelligence is speed.
That intelligence is the amount of bubbles you can fill in an hour
Or how well you can follow instructions.
I was the puzzle piece that didn’t fit

Poked and prodded
Squished into the box
“Take your medication!”
“Don’t be so ditzy!” 
You won’t go anywhere with
An attention span of a goldfish.

And then came the yelling
When I would sit down to take exams
My shrieks rickoshayed
Across the corners of my mind
“What are you doing”
“All the other kids are done”
“What’s wrong with you?”

What’s wrong?

Is that who I am?
The kid who’s too slow?
The kid who drowns while the others swim?
The kid who never quite makes the mark
The kid who stumbles
Fragments get smaller
My voice gets weaker
Is there no room for a kid who wonders?

How long it takes to build structures of acceptance
That were never there to begin with.

But you lied
I had planets in my palms
Solar systems in my mind
Does my light offend you?

I am not ashamed anymore
I am slow because I notice
I will always smell the roses
Think deeper
Look closer
Because my beauty comes in
Riding against the tide

I’m sorry you ever
believed you were nothing
You deserve empowerment
You deserve peace
You deserve to feel complete

You are not dumb
you never were dumb
Your mind is a garden teeming with wildflowers
it’s not your fault the others can’t see

Creative
Innovative
Brings new ideas to the table
Vibrant
Enough  
This is what I want you to see in yourself